WAAAAAAUGH!!!

o/

ere we go! ere we go! ere we go...

Well, it finally happened...yep, I played a game of 40k. This was the previously postponed game of Orks vs. Orks (old codex vs. new) with Neverness. 1000 points, 'Tau deployment', Bonzai charge (kill points) scenario rather than waste any good n' propa Orkiness on some sort of actual strategery...

My deployment.

Oi, did anyone check to see iv dat door opens?

Da Eleet Grot Mountin Duvishun complete with Da Grot Spee and a pair of wartrakks took up my right flank.

Neverness' Warboss had burna boyz stacked beneath him as cushion apparently...

The rest of his deployment.

Stealing da initiative, Da Long Wayz Dezert Groop advances...kinda slowly.

With a trukk in visual range, rokkits are fired enmass, but of course it was outta range...

Despite all of my shooting, it was a typical Ork shooting phase, with only about 4 casualties inflicted (Note the big mek with a shokk attack gun in the tower, I think this was my only pic of it).

My looted Crimson Fists rhino was 1st blood? WTF?!? What's more fluffy than that model?!?! Neverness clearly hates fluff...

Likewise, his big mek with the shock attack gun was jealous of Da Grot Spee being the prettiest model on the table, and it went BOOM (taking many grots with it)!

While da Matilda missed, da Tankbustas effectively destroyed da Warboss' trukk

Also getting blown up on turn 1 was my buggy w/skorcha. Here we see the burnaboyz roasting my Ard boyz in the background...

This bunch charged, and the subsequent challenge between his Nob and my big mek turned into a multi-turn, anti-climatic tar pit.

The Warboss polished my nob...

There was an awful lot of this crap. More a case of never bothering to read the 7th ed rules, rather than learning and then forgetting them to begin with...

However, I won the 1st round of combat (barely), and the following turn a bazillion shoota boyz joined the fray...

This soon reached its inevitable conclusion.

His shoota boyz advance to get Fix-a-Flat, my big mek and warlord.

Trying to quicken the inevitable defeat, da tankbustas leapt from da Matilda, opened fire (killing 3 shoota boyz), and then charged the mob! 4 of the 9 fell to overwatch fire, yet they still somehow not only made it to combat, but won the round!

...and then died the next turn. My Big Mek also won, but failed to run down da fleeing boyz. They rallied, but the hour was late and I had to be at work at OMG o'clock the following morning, so we called it. 

Welp...in case you missed it, I got my ass kicked. In terms of KPs, I think I got 2: the Burna boyz and the trukk (though technically it still had a single hull point left). Neverness: He got lots! (I say that as Orks can't count very high) About the only mistake I can think I made was not moving my wartrakks which resulted in their destruction (that crater in the background of the last photo), that and trying to drive Da Matilda thru an apparently very stout wall.

My army's MVP was Da Matilda which, while it was incapable of hitting anything with it's gunz, it absorbed an inordinate amount of fire whilst taking no damage. The Tankbustas get an honorable mention for surviving a hellova lot of overwatch fire, and then winning a round of close combat vs. seemingly dozens of shoota boyz!

Neverness' MVP had to be the friggin' big mek w/shock attack gun! Will that 30ish year old, half assembled mini that looks like it's never seen a lick of paint be rewarded with a full assembly and paint?

I doubt it...but it certainly deserves it.