o/
This is my first collaborative...or um, 'guest' post for this blog. My beautiful and amazing wife Wolfy hit me with the above revelation over the holiday weekend and rather than try and explain her thoughts, I turned the keyboard over to her and just let her go!
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| I'm sure you can imagine just how much porn I had to skim thru (tragedy) on a 'gamer porn images' google search to find something that wouldn't be 'offensive' as a thumbnail on other peoples' blog rolls! |
So, in her words:
Gaming is like porn...
You have the wham, bam, thank you ma'am (guy porn) or you have the story line punctuated with hot hardcore sex scenes (girl porn).
Allow me to expound upon that a little.
The pizza delivery guy shows up and the girl immediately goes for his dick and BAM they go at it... and you have 5 more hours of the fuckfest where it's all about the money shot. This is guy porn. This is 40K, Bolt Action, (most) X-Wing, Warmahordes, etc. Guys walk in, pull out the minis and wham, bam there they go killing each other... Winner is the one who hits the money shot the hardest or has the biggest hardest throbbyingist (lol, is that even a word?!?! Who cares its hilarious!) thingies. Just like in porn the guys with the biggest thingies that handle the most silicone parts (as opposed to plastic or resin) are the winners.
And this explains why I get bored with most games nowadays.
Now on the flip side you have RPG's.. they are like girl porn (think Pirates and Pirates 2 - yeah like you don't know about the most expensive pornos ever made...). There is a lead in, a story, some seriously hot and hardcore sex (action) throughout the entire thing. It's mental stimulation that leads to physical stimulation and satisfaction. Not to mention you can still use miniatures, maps and even terrain.
Although I do have to be fair, X-wing can actually do both. It's one of the few games that can cross the barrier and excite as well as stimulate and satisfy. X-wing has scenarios... (she says 'objectives' based scenarios don't count) this is what makes things so much more fun! Like having amazing sex with someone that knows what they are doing with their thingies that leaves you weak kneed, dizzy and sated as opposed to leaving you sore and wondering why you even bothered.
With that last sentence, I like to think I'm the former rather than the latter, but be careful in asking her. Wolfy's anything but prude (as you may have already guessed) and any reply she makes will all too likely be TMI!!! lol, anyways...in a nutshell, I guess she's a 'narrative gamer' and uh yeah. We're really looking for a good GM and RPG group too.
Erm, nope, no idea about Pirates and Pirates 2. But i now know that they are the most expensive prawn films ever made and you've posted links which I'm apparently too much of a scaredy cat to click on.
ReplyDeleteBut I take Wolfy's point. Similarly, like porn, you tend to only confide in other users and only reluctantly mention it under your breath in polite company....
I take her point about gender differences, and was going to start on about size not mattering, but then I remembered the garage and thought better..... Happy narrative gaming to all !
lol, don't be afraid, those links only go to the wikipedia pages for the movies.
ReplyDeleteThat... is a really interesting, and surprisingly apt comparison, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI would agree that the typical, show-up-and-how-many-points?-okay-go-bam-bam-bam-handshake games bore the shit out of me. Biggest offender: Warmachine. Then any game managed in a "what's your list?" way, played tournament-style, so 40k, X-Wing, whatever. Those suck too, to me. Might as well play checkers.
But overall, I would say there are more miniatures games capable of narrative play than not. Just depends on how you go about it. I'd still love to play more GorkaMorka, for example. (but then hell, I'd love to play anything with how busy my life has been, maybe even checkers at this point...)
Long story short, sounds like you need Age of Sigmar in your life. *troll face*
*but totally mean it*
*Age of Sigmar is awesome*
*yes, for real*
HERESY! *BLAM!!!*
ReplyDeleteNo, I beg to differ, but to each their own. Been waiting on the full updates for the 9th Age myself, until then the Skaven and Stirlanders will stay packed away.
My new 30k book arrived yesterday and has all sorts of scenarios by the looks of it, but I didn't have any time to really look at it other than a quick cover-to-cover skim of it.