Thursday, June 20, 2013

Quar! In! Spaaaaaain--wait, what?

'Yes I get that they're aliens from space, but if you're using them via the British army list in Bolt Action, then what the hell are they doing in Spain?'

My Camera Quar will photograph humanity's defeat!
lol, I know of few people who will read this post's title (hopefully in the 'Pigs! In! Spaaaace!' narrator's voice from the Muppet show) and probably think that question. Well, have you ever wondered why You never heard about Spain and/or Portugal while Europe was tearing itself apart during WWII? History would have you believe that they were neutral countries, and only small volunteer contingents fought in WWII for both sides. Truth is though, they were really fighting aliens...

Yes, both the Bagpiper and their Welsh sounding names are why they'll use the British Commonwealth army list.
...aaaand that's where my Quar fit into Warlord's Bolt Action WWII (a.k.a.: Weird War Two) game.  Now granted, in their own universe, the Quar are incapable of space flight. Indeed, they've been waging what is essentially WWI for the past several hundred years (without the nerve gas), but to bring them into WWII, they need to be aliens from outer space. The problem is, where do they land to allow them to quickly get into the thick of the fighting? Well hello there Iberian Peninsula, you're just what I was looking for. Yes, I needed a beachhead and I'm sorry Spain & Portugal, but you two are it!

Currently my MMG team needs another loader. No worries though, he's on order!
While all hell was breaking loose all over the rest of Europe and the Pacific, instead of Franco consolidating his power/control after winning the Spanish civil war, Spain was beset by an alien invasion of Quar. Conquering Spain, they struck west into and taking Portugal. Having succeeded there, the Quar then struck east and went straight into the nightmare of WWII. Holy shit Batman! They're armed to the teeth in this direction! Commandeering local shipping to try crossing either the English channel, or the Mediterranean (assuming Allied & Axis ships/subs/planes didn't sink them in the process) I would imagine the Quar would find themselves running into the same problem!

In my one Bolt Action demo game, the mortar was probably the best weapon in my force. With only 2 Quar this qualifies as a light mortar, so I'm not sure how it will fare on the battlefield.

Of course Rob is looking into possibly fielding either the Japanese or  Russians, so other landings will be made, but as of right now, the Iberian Peninsula is my established beachhead. As to why a space faring race is no more proficient in battle than the armies of WWII? Well, if those weapons were sufficient to conquer their own planet (and potentially any others that they arrived at prior to Earth), then why worry about improved weaponry? They already have the best (or so they thought, damn you humanity)! Besides, wouldn't it be a better idea to try and develop spacecraft that function like an Imperial Star Destroyer rather than an interstellar troop ships and landing craft that the Quar have instead? Given the 'old fashioned sci-fi' feel of these guys in this setting, i figure their ships would look something like this.

Oh, and for of my Spaniard and/or Portuguese readers out there (assuming I have any), your grandfathers did not go quietly during the Quar invasion. My quar army, the 57th Consolidated Catrawd (regiment) is made of the remnants of shattered units, and thus have a variety of uniforms among their number. As such I've grouped these Quar into a unit which I would like to use as 'inexperienced' troops (once I have sufficient numbers to not need veterans to stretch points). Rather than being 'inexperienced' they'll instead be the psychologically broken remnants of those units that took part in the initial landings, and were essentially destroyed in the taking of Spain & Portugal. Rather than pull them back for rest & refit, they've just been lumped together and put back onto the front line where they can (hopefully) be of use before being wiped out (much like in the actual Quar universe). Ya see, despite their goofy appearance, they really are quite brutal little creatures who excel at killing one another just as well as humanity does.

So, they ought to fit right in...I hope.


Kushial said...

It all looks good so far, but I have one question. After overrunning Spain .... just how the heck did they manage to go EAST into Portugal?

Da Masta Cheef said...

lol, oops! I got my directions mixed up. That's now been corrected!

Screech said...

DEEERP! With navigational skills like that, what hope do you have when you face the superiority of the Wehrmacht? :D

Da Masta Cheef said...

Superiority complex of the Wehrmacht? Yeah that's always been a All I can say is that it'll be: DEATH BY AARDVARKS FOR YOU!!!

Albert said...

Well in the case of Spain it was not really neutral, but the country was teared apart by the civil war that ended in 1939 and in no condition to fight humans nor aliens. Anyway a fun reading and greetings from south of the Pyrenees

Da Masta Cheef said...

o7 Albert,

I know the Spanish Civil War ended shortly prior to the outbreak of WWII, and that the Germans tested a lot of their strategies while supporting their allies in Spain. Still, the Spaniards would be hard pressed to fight off an alien invasion while recovering from a war, more so than were my Quar to drop right into Germany during the early stages of the WWII.

Thanks for reading!