Monday, December 5, 2016


Supreme Copmmander Goob

You will respect my Athoriah!
One-time Commander-now-turned-Outcast squad leader Goob and his squad quailed within the seat harnesses of the orbital dropship. The ship bucked and bounced down through the turbulent atmosphere and wildly inaccurate anti-orbital defenses. This was Goob's first combat drop without the comforting protection of a battle suit. Not that it mattered much after a lucky hit to the starboard engine array sent the ship into a terminal nosedive! Goob and his unit were part of the 'expendable first wave' which naturally consisted entirely of Outcast units. His now-doomed shuttle carried four full squads, and it seemed their contribution would be nothing more than to leave a crater upon this world's surface!

A few months prior, Ghar reconnaissance had discovered a small Feral Freeborn colony on a forgotten backwater of a planet and launched an assault to eliminate it with extreme prejudice! Whilst a low ranking squad leader such as Goob was given little-to-no information about their target, he did overhear at least this world's designation: 10-E-C. It didn't sound like much, but at least he knew the where he was going to die... 

Only a month ago he was second in command of an elite battle suit strike force which had been engaged with the accursed Boromites. His superior officer made a tactical oversight of lethal consequences that lead to both his death as well as most of the Ghar force. Defeat was total. As the senior-most surviving officer, Goob had shouldered all of the blame though the fault was not his own (an irrelevance to upper command) and was demoted to the rank of an outcast! Goob understood that his new, loathsome life of shame would be short, but as mountainous views zipped past the viewport at an impossible angle, he was horrified of just how brutally short it really would be!


I can't help but think that
it looks like he''s wearing
and armored diaper!
Hours passed before Goob opened his eyes within his cracked helmet, dangling limp and upside down in his restraining harness. He was alive-yes, but his whole body was in pain, though more from the violence of the crash than any kind of mortal injury. Unclipping the the harness he dropped clumsily onto a mewling outcast from his squad who was trapped beneath some debris. Ignoring the wretch and moving out of the wreckage and onto the scorched ground of 10-E-C, Goob took stock of his situation. The flight crew valiantly managed to pull the ship's nose up at the last second but their efforts were for naught. The dropship had been torn asunder upon impact and pieces of smoldering hull and the pitiful, broken bodies of it's occupants were scattered all about in all directions.

'They will not come for us'  he thought. 'Not for Outcasts, Outcasts deserve nothing but death…'

Despite his pain, as far as Goob could tell, he'd suffered no permanent damage to his body, and on regaining his senses he limped back into the wreck. Picking up a lugger gun, he put those few other unfortunates who survived out of their misery. Several dazed outcasts looked as though they may have survived the crash as well as Goob had, but a few well placed lugger rounds later and he was satisfyingly alone.  

An overhead view of this grubby
little bastard's noggin and the
terrain of his new homeworld.
Moving as quickly as his pained body would allow, he gathered what supplies he could find and stockpiled them in the largest, most intact piece of wreckage left-the tail section. He had shelter (of a sort), lugger guns-nearly a dozen of them and more ammo than any one Outcast ought to have access too! Clothing, rations (both fresh meat from the dead and ration packs), lumen strips and battery packs, but no medical kit. In the latter case Goob was unsurprised, such was an Outcast's lot. However on discovering a small stream the following day which gave him access to water, Goob's life it seemed had taken a sudden turn for the better!

Following their inevitable (and quick) victory the Ghar fleet broke orbit intent to abandon the 10-E-C's solar system. The isolated world held no strategic or tactical value to the Ghar. It served only to fuel their pathological need to exterminate humanity via it's small, feral human population. The fleet never bothered to search for the downed shuttle or it's expendable cargo. Little did the departing fleet know (or care) that they left behind a survivor: 

A former commander. An outcast.

In the years following, gripped by the madness resulting from mild but lingering brain damage resulting from the crash, and his endless isolation, Goob would come to believe that the Ghar fleet had (inadvertently, but that's no matter) restored his honor. Knowing himself to be the the last, and by default the highest ranking Ghar left on the planet. He declared himself to be:

Supreme Commander Goob, Planetary Ruler of 10-E-C!

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Blood Bowl, the bitter revival...


The Wurtbastards were undefeated in their 3-4 year run,
primarily as a non-digital opponent couldn't be found.

Not that the living rule book rules were invalid, or that what's been described as the greatest miniature game ever has had any lack of devoted fans ready to play...right? They've always been ready to play...

Real Life names redacted.
Sure. That's exactly what they'll tell you. However currently I'm the odd one out here locally as Blood Bowl mania sweeps thru our gaming group, as I can only bitterly recall 5 years ago when I recreated the old templates, bought and painted a team, made a custom pitch, bought dice from the NAF, and read the rulebook till I memorized it, only to find no opponents.


Where was this eternally devoted fanbase? Ah yes, playing the fucking Blood Bowl video game. It was 'just as good' and 'far easier' to play...presumably as they could play at home whilst wearing just their boxers...(((cringe))).

Three to four years after, annoyed that no one ever wanted to play, tired that all of my BB efforts had come to naught, and even more tired of shuffling around a team, templates and board for a completely dead and gone (tabletop) game, I sold it all off.

Yet now, with Blood Bowl's re-release? So-called 'die hard' fans are coming out of the wood-work. Indeed, people who haven't been to game night in years are suddenly clearing their schedules for it, and all I can think is: Where the fuck were you people 5 years ago when I was begging for anybody to play????

Oh that's right, you had a video game instead and couldn't be bothered. Technically nothing's changed but hey, why not jump on the band wagon with everyone else right? Right.

Edit: Wolfy commented and I have to agree that this sudden burst of interest in BB will probably have the same lifespan as our recent revival or GorkaMorka. Potentially less given that its the holiday season, there's already grumblings about the local 'that guy' population is showing interest as well, and one of the main proponents of starting up a league has already made mention that he probably can't make it this weekend, etc., etc.... 

Monday, November 28, 2016

Apparently its long-overdue Kickstarter season...

For the 2nd time now inside a month, yet a long overdue kickstarter has delivered. Previously I got my Green Alliance WWII Orcs, and this time our Dynamic colored X-Wing templates arrived! The movement and range templates look just fantastic!
Our only complaint (aside from being so late) is the line and number 2 on the range ruler is hard to read due to the background image being so light in color.

As for the various other tokens, eh. they look alright, not sure if we'll use them or not. Though the binayre pirate insert will allow us to run all three of our Z-95s with the Scum and Villainy faction now.

The nightmarish variety of colors for the tokens on the right are largely responsible for the long delay in delivery. Some have the symbols cut out, and other just etched and printed in white. The latter no doubt to speed up production...

The dial is held together via magnets. Its pretty nice for a freebee!

We couldn't resist using these in a game, and left em in place to give a good view of how they look on the table top (which is to say: better than the game mat!).

This was likely the Violet's final battle. Neither one of us have had much luck with this ship and it has since made its way onto ebay

The empire won the day just in case anyone was wondering. 

This just leaves Rick Hunter's custom VT as the only thing left in the woefully overdue Kickstarter department. However the only thing fucking Palladium has managed to do on that since the laughably optimistic release date of 'December 2013' is to show a single CAD rendering. Hate, vitirol, threats of legal action and general disgust continue daily on that KS's comment page (which is dangerously close to the 100K comments mark). Like most backers, I personally I have written that last mini off entirely.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

'Appy Tanksgiving!


Yes, its a recycled image. Shut up!

Its late and I have lots to cook tomorrow morning...well, okay not too much but I'm not getting up early either. As such, this is my cop-out of a Thursday post.

Happy Turkey day!

Eat LOTS (and then eat some more...because remember, there's always room for pie!), basically 'gobble till you wobble'. And maybe just maybe the idea I originally had for this post will be Monday's post instead of me punting on that one too.


Monday, November 21, 2016

Another round of Kill Team Carnage

For the first time in a little over 2 months, my beloved Wolfy and I made it to game night at the FLGS. Looking to play Kill Team, we ended up with five players which is one too many for our usual combination of the old 40k Carnage scenario and Kill Team mixed together. I suggested Screech set up in the middle and everyone else's collective objective would be 'GET HIM!'.

Instead however, after 15-20 minutes of hemming, hawing and general confusion in regards to how to fit everyone into the game, Wolfy opted to bow out and just play peanut gallery and combat camerawoman.

All of the combatants in action! The central statue (of Alpharius?) was the objective.

I was fielding my Alpha Legion who were masquerading as the Blood Angels (or a successor chapter, purely so I could use a heavy flamer in a tac. squad.). My force was fully painted.

Mac was using the Red Corsairs (which I gave him a few years back and considering their phenomenal paint jobs, I still have no regrets about that). Unsurprisingly, Mac's force was fully painted.

Pay no attention to the Corsairs hiding in the corner. Mac was rolling so badly (havoc missile launcher aside), that Screech's die rolls were elevated up to being mediocre!

Bob was fielding the accursed Dark Angels. Bob's force was almost entirely painted.

Screech was fielding the Tyranids. The 'nids were mostly base coated and one warrior was painted. No credit goes to Screech on that though as he bought them in that condition. Well Screech, with your Germans out of the picture for the time being, its time to get to it pal!

Whilst she didn't play, Wolfy's Exodites were all painted as well.

Attack of the little gribblies...

Anyways...As Mac's force was opposite me, and thus farthest away, I never once shot at him. In fact most of my combat was directed towards Screech's bugs, though Bob and I did kill 2-3 of each other's models (fucking Dark Angel plasma guns...).

My MVP by far war the Heavy Flamer marine who outflanked on the far side, right in front of a horde of Gaunts. He torched 3 and wounded a warrior as they all charged in to chop him up into little bits! Screech however was rolling horribly, and my marine held on for three turns taking at least one more little gribbly with him. I think I only lost one other marine to Screech's other blob of gribblies.

My Heavy Bolter marine's view of the battlefield.

In the end, Bob held the objective when Screech failed the roll to continue the game into turn six.  

Thursday, November 17, 2016

World WAAAAAUGH II Orks are all assembled!


Just a quick post as its kinda late in the evening. Now that I have an actual adhesive that works the rest of my WWII Orks went together quite easily. Despite having to remove the arm pegs on a few in order get them to fit. In the end, only one Ork had arms that didn't align properly at the wrists...but, considering some of the poorly designed GW models I've assembled over the years, 1 out of 11 isn't bad.

Da whole skwad.

Don't much care for the head on the shotgun toting boy on da right. So I might swap it out for another of the western ones.
Da one on da left has the mis-aligned arms.

Armed with a multitude of shotguns, rifles, thompson machine guns, pistols and a pair of big shootas that vaguely resemble the lewis machine gun, these boyz will make for an excellent Blood Axe shoota boyz mob. That does leave me with an extra big shoota boy...but I'll find a use for him I'm sure.

Lying down on da job...

The Ork in the laying/lunging/riding-on-a-vehicle maybe?-pose...not quite sure what they were going for with that one. Guess I'll have to get creative with his base. Given that he's armed with both a revolver and a shotgun, and I didn't like the two remaining Military Ork heads, I opted for one of the 'hillbilly' styled heads.

Why you no haz kitty cube?

Monday, November 14, 2016

Coming unglued...


No longer
For years, well...probably close to 2 decades, I've been using Zap-a-Gap to assemble my minis. Sure there's a difficult one every now and again. Ya know, one of those models where the sculptors just assume that everybody loves pinning every fucking bit together, but luckily those miniatures are either rare, or more accurately:  rarely purchased.

However recently, my bottle of Zap-a-Gap finally ran out and I bought another, and that's when the problems began. That purchase coincided with the arrival of my new box of Betrayal of Calth Mk IV marines. My beloved Wolfy would ask what all the bitching was about, and all I could figure was GW changed the chemical composition of their plastics probably to something cheaper at our expense (one might assume) and the Zap-a-gap wasn't working near as well anymore. The glue worked, but took what what seemed like forever to set up.

She asked: "Maybe its the glue. Why don't you contact the company?"

Nope, I've used this stuff for years. Then I got my Urbanmech IIC and had one hellova time getting that little bastard together (which, for such a simple model should not have been the case). Gluing it (and others to their bases, and rocks to said bases also took an inordinate amount of time and Za-a-Gap to accomplish.

March of the trash cans...

Then came my Green Alliance Orks...and once again: WTF?!? Minis that dry fit together and in position almost perfectly and yet still, the glue won't set! Seriously?!? I fought with an Ork with a pistol and Shotgun, who's shoulder insert points were both mismolded, and the pegs to-be-inserted had to be removed for close to an hour before I gave up.

Fuck it, angry email time!

It looks kinda odd, but he's actually looking into the scope.

Actually It wasn't really angry, more of a "I've bought this stuff for well over a decade and now its not working, did you change the chemical formulation?' Their response:

Phone number redacted, not that it would help anyways...

Yes, I'm sure the distributor knows all about the chemical formulation of the products that they distribute. Certainly the schmuck who sent that, from the superglue company itself should have known how stupid of a response that was as he typed it. At least you would think that. My response to this customer service failure:

Into the trash the Zap-a-Gap went.

I was at Big Lots (which is about a half mile away) the other day and saw that they had Gorilla glue, so rather than drive 15-20ish miles to the FLGS, I just went and got that instead. My first mini in which to test out my new glue? The aforementioned Ork which the mis-molded shoulder sockets. I got the gel Gorilla Glue which is considerably thicker than what I'm used to, but it was easy to adjust the amount needed and the result: That Ork which was an exercise in fury to try to assemble with Zap-a-Gap, went together in no time at all with the gorilla glue.

Dakka! Dakka! Dakka!

So now I can go back to the assembly line, rather than cursing and swearing about the fact that none of the parts will fucking adhere to one another!