Da Masta Cheef rants about 8th ed's rumors

Okay look: When I started this out, it wasn't going to be a rant on the subject, but then on the read-thru...well, it just kinda turned out that way. Again. As usual. 

Once again a new edition is almost upon us and I really want to be cautiously optimistic, but at the same time given my past experience with 40k’s various ‘updates’ I can’t help but feel like I’m cringing with trepidation as well. GW Fanbois and Haters alike are all over the various rumor blogs/FB pages screaming their opinions resulting in a bunch of white noise with little to no substance. 

Thus, adding to the din: here are my thoughts on what I've read the most about thus far:

WE LISTENED AND GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!

Considering that I think the ‘pie chart’ below of what GW perceives the 40k fanbase to be is entirely accurate, I doubt it.

You disagree? HERESY! *BLAM!*

EVERYTHING IS VIABLE! • NO BROKEN UNITS!

Yes, yes…we’ve heard this all before, so when reading GW’s current hype vs. their proven track record on these two subjects, I think many a player will be disappointed as usual.

NO DEATHSTARS!

GW’s so-called play testers have never come close to breaking the game like their player base has. As such, ‘no Deathstars’ is a laughable notion.

WHOMEVER CHARGES INTO CLOSE COMBAT STRIKES FIRST!

If that's the case then it will be an (((AMAZING))) improvement for Orks! Now whether or not that's just a hammer-of-wrath-like hit, or all of their attacks remains to be seen, but either way its desperately needed fix for a HTH army that invariably hits last in virtually EVERY close combat situation. (See? There's some positivity in the mess.)

Seriously, I'm actually stoked about that one!

THE MOST ROBUST 40K EDITION EVER!

A minor rewording of the standard issue marketing written about every release, moving on…

THE HORUS HERESY RULES WILL STAY THE SAME!

(actually, they’re not really shouting about this bit).

Having spent $150 this past year on two newly updated ‘Red books’ (and still contemplating a third) I should hope not! That said, its inevitable I suppose, and there’s are thousands of people who’ve spent tons on $50 hardback codexes that are soon to be obsolete (and this is already generating justifiable player unhappiness).

3-WAYS TO PLAY WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE WANTS!

Okay look. AoS was an absolute clusterfuck when it was released without any sort of point system. Players all over the world started immediately to develop their own to try and bring some sense of balance and playability to the game within their local groups. The only people that I know who enjoyed it in the original form, played it with their kids who are quite young. New blood = Good. Alienating VAST swathes of veteran players = Bad. Even GW figured that out. 

AoS sales spiked initially (like any new edition does) and then nosedived into oblivion. (until...) The General’s Handbook corrected the obvious failings of the game's initial release and players received the book with near universal acclaim. As such the games' financial numbers are believed to exceed, the old WHFB which is what GW wanted in the first place. Its probably described as: WINNING! in the shareholder meetings.

Looking towards 8th ed, GW's upper echelons no doubt compared apples to oranges and didn't see any difference at all (most likely due to the usual combination of their entrenched 'group think' corporate mentality and absolutely no market research what-so-ever) and jumped to the conclusion that this will work for 40k too. BRILLIANT! When in truth, its probably just as much of a shot in the dark as the initial AoS release was.

FREE RULES PDFs!

Yay. Now those of us who don’t have tablets, or (conversely) don’t want their tablets to be filled up with nothing but 40k rule PDFs can print them out at Kinkos (or whatever FedEx calls it now). My apologies to the trees, some us old schoolers still prefer actual books. $25-30 soft backs were fine, people only started to pushback on codexes when GW decided they all should be $50 coffee table books with very, very short lifespans. 

Here's to another 30+ years of Ultra-Fucking-Marine-Blue!

THE FOCUS IS ON IMPERIUM vs. CHAOS!

Translation: SUCK IT XENOS PLAYERS! (as usual). Before anyone pipes up about Tau and the Eldar, I expect those two armies will take a good solid kick to the groin. Like 30k, 40k looks to finally become an ALL POWA ARMA game with that revelation. True, those two sides include others like the Inquisition, SoBs (lolz), IG, the mechanicum and daemons. But POWA ARMA is where its at! 

Oh and pray to whatever gods will listen that all that new Chaos Legions flavor carries through into the new edition, instead of just becoming another fondly remembered 4.5 CSM codex the likes of which won’t be seen again for another decade whilst the ultramarine blue loyalist marines get all the good rules. 

Also, steel yourselves for the possibility of GW rolling all 3 Eldar factions into one fluff shredding ‘Aeldari’  faction, and similar AoS shenanigans like renaming ’Orks’ to ‘Orruks’ and other stupid sounding names that no one else has made up yet in order to be able to trademark EVERYTHING! Just remember kids: BRAND IDENTITY is more important than FLUFF. Though I might be okay with it, if they changed ‘Space Marines’ to ‘Spess Mahreenz’.

Speaking of a kick to the groin, let's hope there's an actual death to the 'death from the skies' phase. Not likely, but one can always hope...

THE GAME WILL BE EVER EVOLVING!

lol, did they say *free rules*? Yes well, while they’re not a ‘rules company’, you’ll still need to buy a $50-75 rulebook every so often (read that as: 2-3 per year) to keep current and get all the really cool shit. Oh, and speaking of 'evolving' when is GW going to try and alter their player base to not be such a freaking sausage-fest? 

Hell, Warmahordes' and Infinity minis are almost 50/50 male-to-female (and as a result are a lot more appealing to female gamers, even despite Corvus Belli's overly-sexualized female poses), whereas GW? Well yeah, no idea why some nerd's violent sexual fantasy the Sisters Repentia didn't help em' cross the vast, gender divide...

But, but...then they released the Sisters of Silence right?

Sadly, once again, the 'boob armor' failed to entice the ladies. I'm sure the notion that two requirements of their combat regimen is to not only be a soulless bitch, but also to permanently shut their fucking mouths didn't help either.

Suddenly they sound like the Emprah's trailer trash don't they?

- Epilogue -

Bitter much? Isn't it obvious?

So was this post even necessary? Doubt it.

Was it constructive? Certainly not.

Cathardic? Quite.

Are you done yet? For the moment...

I hate painting gold...

I mean sure, I could just grab the Krylon like some people do...but where's the fun in that, right?

However, on the other hand GW's Auric Armor Gold paint sucks. It separates constantly, requiring an inordinate amount of shaking to re-mix. Its transparent as hell meaning I need to undercoat with Yriel Yellow which itself is also pretty transparent, and in needing of multiple coats...

Yup, looks down right awful during the WIP stages. Also the tiny 25mm base is for painting purposes only, he'll get an appropriately grandiose base later on.

As such, my Praetor will only terminator trimmed in the gold areas you see above, whilst he regular 'grunt' termies will be devoid of the infernal color for my sanity's sake. Perhaps there's something to be said for the Krylon Marines after all...


...bleh...

Enter the Cataphractii…

o/

I got a small bonus from work recently (a rarity), and before it evaporated by way of daily expenses, I splurged and bought a squad of Cataphractii Terminators on eBay for the bargain price of $33. 

Whilst they were still on the sprue they came with no instructions as is so often the case with most bits resellers. A quick google search remedied that however and honestly, the only portion of assembly that I really needed instruction on was for the correct alignment of the shoulder plates. Those aside, they go together much the same as any other space marine.

I’m outfitting my squad simply with combi-bolters and single lightning claws. Meaning they’ll do absolutely nothing to help eliminate enemy armor which is the real achilles heel of my Alpha Legion army. Given that I’ve been drooling over these sculpts for years now it seems, they’ll add some eye candy, but not much else.

True to form, aesthetic appeal once again wins out over table top effectiveness.

I also need to apologize to Waaargh Pug. Sorry buddy, but the infamous Captain Woo was knifed in the back when no one was looking. Meaning Woo’s tainted weapon was lopped off, and replaced with a standard power sword. A grenade harness was also added, and now this guy will serve as either a Praetor or a (somewhat) grandiose looking squad sergeant.

My Rogue Stars' version of the A-Team!

o/

Okay yes, I'm of that generation that grew up watching the A-Team and I loved the show...well, for awhile anyways. Sadly even as a kid the episodes got terribly repetitive, and all of the show's flaws became readily apparent. Recently Wolfy and I watched the A-Team on Hulu and the show has aged really poorly.

That said, I wanted to make a Rogue Stars crew based on the A-Team using some of my leftover Grymn who don't fit into my Outremar army, called the G-Team.  Needing 5 members, I opted to use the awful 5th season add-on to the cast: Frankie "Dishpan' Sanchez (scroll down to the last of the 'additional characters').

The G-Team was a small (no pun intended), uniquely skilled band of fugitives who fought as mercenaries for the oppressed. They were most famously known for their improvisational antics, which…after a time became mind-numbingly repetitive to anyone who followed their exploits closely. Despite their painfully obvious predictability (something their governmental pursuers curiously never picked up on), they held the public's attention for a few years before disappearing into obscurity…

The following were G-Team's members:

Hanibull:

The mastermind behind the G-Team, Hanibull lead the G-Team throughout its lifespan. Whilst his repertoire of ideas was (terribly) limited, he was nonetheless a master of surveillance, strategery and disguise. At their mission's end, Hanibull was oft quoted as saying he: 'loves it when a plan comes together!'

Fayce:

The G-Team's logistical specialist, Fayce used flirtation and her good looks to prise whatever was needed away from those who had it (ironically, her best 'assets' didn't include her face). Though rarely required, if something proved unattainable despite her wiles and charm, she always had her SMG ready to close the deal! 

Myr'dok:

Never without her trademark leather jacket, Myr'dok served as the G-Team's somewhat mentally unstable medic. She made a hobby out of slipping narcotics of various types into B.A.'s food in hopes that hilarity would ensue! However due to frequent overdosage, the big guy passed out more often than anything else.

B.A. B'Ruckus:

The only non-Grymn member of the G-Team, B'Ruckus (a half-Ork) fulfilled their need for brute strength and intimidation. However, B'Ruckus' preference for red T-shirts, camouflage and vast amounts of gold jewelry (often all worn together!) left many to wonder if he was really a threat, or just there for comedic effect. Poor fashion choices aside, his short temper and considerable attitude, made him a force to be reckoned with!

And lastly:

Crankie:

Crankie is the final and truly forgettable member of the G-Team. In a last gasp of desperation to extend their failing notoriety, Crankie was coerced into joining the G-Team. Unfortunately for him, he signed on at a point in which the rest were all well past their prime. Supposedly an expert in pyrotechnics, the only significant thing he ever managed to destroy was his own career, which subsequently went down in flames.

*All images copyright of Hasslefree miniatures.

GHARRRRR!!!

o/

Neverness stopped by the other day and surprised my Beloved Wolfy and I with anniversary presents! Now, I knew she was getting a gift via previews and inquiries on the subject, so it would be obvious to assume that I was getting one too, but to be honest that thought never crossed my mind. Even after (in hindsight) I recalled his mention of 'presents' in the plural form. Ah well, its always nice to be surprised, right?

In his usual nefarious ways, Neverness gifted me with a blister pack of Ghar Tectorists Scouts for Beyond the Gates of Antares.

As he well knows, the Ghar are the only faction in that game that appeals to me, and even then not the entirety of the miniature range. Prior to this I had just one Ghar mini. However given my malaise in regards to Warlord's Bolt Action, the sales pitch of 'its Bolt Action in space' hasn't been an incentive to give the game a try. No doubt Nevereness' intent was to give me another shove in that direction (kicking and screaming if needs be).

No matter the game system, they still want to exterminate humanity and
everyone else in their path...

However (and what I'm sure will be much to his surprise), I've already repurposed them. I've wanted to use Goob, my one Ghar in a crew for Rogue Stars. Now that I have four more Ghar, I can do just that! I lopped off the round, metal detector-esque bit on the ends of the thing-a-ma-bob that they're carrying and it now looks as though they're armed with a kinda retro-looking lasergun instead.

I don't have any sort of background for these guys yet...I was thinking of maybe using them as miners, or a salvage crew of some sort, maybe armed with cutting lasers or the like...something like that. Regardless, they'll make for a cool looking crew that's quite different from the one I've been using and the other crew that I also have in the works.

40k in 15mm

Okay, so I lied. 

No, you didn’t have to wait 2 weeks for another post. Yes, we are on our honeymoon (I scheduled this post before we left), and no I won’t be checking on this blog post till we get back (nor will there be more posts until then). 

DLWDG in 15mm?

However 15mm mini gaming still intrigues me despite (1) selling off all of my Gruntz minis and (2) my recent 30k & 40k spending spree. Selling off my 15mm minis is of little concern as I’ve found other mini lines that appeal to me more anyways (as you can see...), and on the 28mm scale games side, I’m running outta room to store stuff again, as usual.  

So, instead of reinventing the wheel...which in the case of Gruntz was something of a square wheel. Why not just go the easy route and make a few changes to the game everyone already knows how to play? So 40k it is. Basically players will just play 6th ed (my preference in editions), although the current edition and/or the next ought to work just fine I would guess to minimize confusion, with the following changes:

The base movement is halved to 3” rather than 6” (weapon ranges stay the same which is a bit more realistic)

Large blasts would be reduced to small blasts, small blasts would be reduced to D3 hits, and template weapons would inflict D6 hits

For turn sequence, just use the Bolt action dice in a bag method for unit activation. (This is more of a local thing as a few gamers in our group are tired of GW's long-standing turn sequence)

Cap the point limit to say, 1k (or less?) to fit the all of little guys/gals/critters on a 4' x4' table. 

All else is essentially the same. 

Do you think that would work? Would any of you want to try that?