Monday, February 9, 2015

First game of Bolt Action battle report!

o/

FINALLY! Two years of badgering Rob and Screech to pick/build their armies, netted a result: a game with Bob. Yes at this point, I've given up on the other two. Anyways, I thanked Bob up and down as this was the first time I've ever been able to play a game of any kind with my beloved Quar (I first started buying them back in 2011!).

Anyways, here was the set up: 500 points, Germans (Early war, and no vehicles or pak38 as his order from the UK had yet to arrived), vs. my Quar (counts as British-Dad's Army). Long table edges with no deployment as all units arrived from reserve. The Mission was 'Top Secret' (basically the Relic from 40k).

My platoon, awaiting their baptism of fire.
The game's objective: a wayward Quar cook who apparently doesn't respond to "HEY! Get your ass over here private!"
The field of battle.
Bob's German platoon.
First up, my artillery officer arrives on the table.
Actually, everyone showed up on the first try, though the Commandos wouldn't arrive till turn 3 do to outflanking deployment.
Bob's army deploys quickly as well...aside from his officer and an MMG team.
First blood! A Quar falls to enemy fire...
The Quar Homeguard makes it an eye for an eye!
Then came turn three...Turns one and two was mainly advancing, and a few potshots. Turn three started with my artillery strike landing, and spreading 7 pin markers between these two units. I was feeling pretty good about that, but then...
STUKA!!! Damned thing pinned almost the whole blob of my line! Only my tank and a few outlying units were spared! A good chunk of the Painted Homeguard died as well! These two strikes totally changed the dynamic of the game!
My Commandos outflank, SMGs at the ready...
...and killing a few Germans plus adding another crucial pin marker!
Who's turn to go is determined by picking dice out of a bag. Its quite random and impossible to know who's dice are who's,  or at least it is until you realize that they come in different styles...WHAT THE FUCK WARLORD?!?!?!
Bob's abysmal rolling grants him a roll on the FUBAR chart, causing his squad to take flight. Meanwhile his air support officer and assistants try to take down the Commandos...
My Quar are continue to be pinned more or less everywhere! Oh and that D4, that's Bob's medium mortar point of impact marker. By this point, it needed a 3+ to hit, he rolled a 1.
My light mortar team is still out of range, and advancing thru some trees that look as though they've already been on the wrong end of some artillery.
The Commandos wipe out the Air officer and friends in one volley! At this point these guys were declared the MVPs for wiping out a flank on their own!
My Artillery officer, lacking anything useful to do after the successful artillery strike moves forward in hopes of sniping at some Germans with his rifle.
Most of the Quar line is on the move again (barring of course, the painted squad of Homeguard). My tank kept the enemy's heads down with its MMG (all game), and the light mortar team is still outta range...
With a few parting shots, the Commandos see the last of my right flank's Germans off of the table, huzzah!
As is the case in 40k's Relic scenario, anyone who reaches the objective, gets the living shit shot out of them, which was also the case here...
Bob's Mortar finally connects on turn 6, and the casualties are irrelevant, as the pin markers almost equal the Homeguard's LD value and they flee the field!
Actually, turn 6 was the turn of the Mortar as mine connected as well. However after Bob's successful strike, my light mortar was woefully unimpressive in the damage department...
Meanwhile, on another table....yeah, I...uh, just took a photo and walked away. No idea what who was proxying what for what.
The Boys AT rifle finally opens fire!
No casualties were inflicted, but they added a pin marker to Bob's squad after they blew yet another hole in their ruined hide out.
Ah yes, Bob's die rolling was...in a word: abysmal. Adding pin markers to his squads was kinda irrelevant given his average LD roll was a 10.
Not contnet with taking the flank, the Commandos take a hill as well.
Hitler's Buzzsaw kills a Commando and Bob claims 'moral victory'.
My Lt. and his cronies secure the cook and I win! Wait wha? Oh, this isn't actually the Relic, meaning I had to get the objective off of the table to win, making this a draw. Frustrated, my Lt. starts to interrogate the wayward cook at gunpoint!
Well that was fun! So after my first game, here are my thoughts on it:

• It had always struck me as odd that arty and air strikes were only once per game. However after seeing how much damage they did, it makes total sense now.

• The Commandos were definitely MVPs, however had Bob managed to roll worth a damn, 6 Anteaters with a 12" shooting range would have probably been easy kills. So I'll hold off on calling them OP just yet. Actually, they were the closest thing to being vaguely OP which was a really, really nice change from 40k.

• The Homeguard performed well. I mean, they're basically Imperial Guardsmen which I've feilded for decades. LD:8, Hit on a 4+, Die on a 3+, yup, guardsmen. Unfortunately they're dirt cheap (like Orks kinda cheap) which makes an army of them cost prohibitive to me. So I'm going to break the painted squad in half and will field 2 small squads of them (with the matching Lt., and friends) instead of a whole platoon.  :-(

• The tank's scale was just fine for this game. 1/32nd is too big, an oddly Warlord's tanks are tiny as hell! So in comparison to 1/48th, I think it works just fine. Also Bob's lack of AT weaponry made it invulnerable which was pleasing.

• Light mortar's suck compared to medium mortars.

• The dice, really? I still find the inconsistent dice mind boggling...

•  Yes, I want to play more of this game...a lot more!



Thursday, February 5, 2015

Question: What do you call a Quar with a mortar?

Answer:  A 'Quarter'! (buh-dum-ching!)

Shut up Screech you know that was funny! You too Rob! 

The first Quar I've painted in well over a year!
 As you can tell, spirits are high in the Quar camp as they're on the eve of their first battle! My poor Quar. They've spent years of quiet neglect, waiting in their cases for Screech to actually assemble his Germans (one tank and a handful of infantry doesn't count as 'assembled' either), or for Rob to just pick a side. He's been looking for what seems like forever and I thought he'd finally Finnished (again: buh-dum-ching!), but hell, last I heard he was looking at the Norwegians!?!

What the hell Rob? Just pick one will ya???

Luckily, Bob's Germans will be taking to the field tomorrow night, and I'll try to have both my camera AND its battery this time for a bat rep. No doubt we will fuck up rules through-out as its our first game, but who the hell cares. At least I'll finally get to play and I'm really looking forward to it!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Da Eleet Grot Mountin Duvishun in action!

o/

Oi! Wut's dat???
Finding myself bereft of a game and not wanting to play some Kroot (because GW made them into a totally redundant shooting unit), I asked if I could add a 250 point allied contingent onto Wolfy's game. Both sides were happy to oblige, and so Da Eleet Grot Mountin Duvishun joined the fray as a desperate ally to the Fem Fa'Tau (the life of a grot is always desperate, so this was nothing new...).

1250 points, Big Gunz Never Tire; Standard, long board edge deployment, wiv Chris' red beakies going first. There were no Pyskers or super-heavies, so like my game with Mac's Red Corsairs some ways back, we were basically playing 6th ed 40k.

 :-)

Da Duvishun deployed!
Da Red Beakies.
Oh, and uh...there were some Fem Fa'Tau on the table as well.
Da big black fing approaches, dropping a Beakie Deff Dread at the end of its move!
Red Wunz Die Fasta!

FIRE FULL BROADSIDE!!! (Note: this resulted in killing 3 marines from Asteroth's death company squad. Thus my sales pitch of: "it just looks awesome, it doesn't actually do anything..." went right out the window).


Takin' da hill, takin' da hill..
In the Grim Darkness of the future, rocks are still deadly weapons...
TANK GO BOOM! Da Grot Spee took credit for this kill claiming it was a stray (but deadly) shot, the Fem Fa'Tau and their overwhelming firepower dispute this fact though...
Uh oh, we made da black wunz angry!
They only manage to inflict 2 hull points lost and a crew stunned damage result. The next round, the grot crew would start the shooting phase by rolling a 1, meaning there was no shooting as the crew descended into a state of blind panic!
Lacking any skyfire capabilities, the Fem Fa'Tau just ignore the black monster, who's shooting was just as ineffective...
Yeah, don't worry Spess Mahreenz, you really don't see those over there...
CHARGE!!! Bu, but Boss...dose are deff cumpny?
Incredulous when he heard the rules for the Grabba Stikk, Asteroth still kills SCHULTZ!!!, meanwhile 5 grots are slaughtered, providing enough distraction for Cactus Bob (a big mek) to cut one Deff cumpny down. Cactus Bob then rolled a 3 for LD and Da Grot Duvishun held its ground!
Tying da deff cumpny up for a 2nd turn, da duvishun is torn apart and run down! Their sacrifice though allows Da Grot Spee to maneuver itself to safety...
Umm, the Tau and da beakies were fighting or something too...
Stalking forward, battle brother Lazarus catches a glimpse of movement, and looks up in time to see...the flying hunk of granite that kills him! Astonished that a fucking rock killed a member of the vaunted Adeptus Astartes, the squad is pinned in place for a turn, huzzah!
Meanwhile on another table...Skylar rolls armor saves for a squad of Khorne Berserkers and...the blood flows with failure.
After all sorts of supporting fire shenanigans, no casualties are inflicted and the Blood Angels reach the Fem Fa'Tau lines!
Yeah...Chris didn't like that rock lobba after it pinned his squad and um, yeah. It died.
Ah yes, the assault that wasn't. The sanguinary guard charges and its a tied combat as neither side suffered any casualties. WHAT. THE. SERIOUS. FUCK?
But, but where...where did our Devilfish go?
Still going...
Oh yes, yes Longstrike knows what that is....folks, we like to call that rear armor!!!
FIRE FULL BROADSIDE!!!
Da smoke clears and...what the fuck? Its still there?!?! (only for some Pathfinders to gun it down shortly thereafter...Da Grot Spee would claim that kill as well!) It also got to fire its BOOM! Kannister for the first time EVER! It didn't kill anything, but scared the shit out of Asteroth!
Note: there are a lot less red guys...
For some odd reason, da Fem Fa'Tau concern themselves with securing objectives...
...and yet more objectives, whatever, Da Grot Divishun (what little was left of it) was killing stuff! (or at least claiming to be)
Finally, the Fire warriors break, but are not run down! However Chris had to leave early because he lives in BFE, so we wrapped things up at the end of turn 4.
We had first blood, and 2 objectives, whereas Chris' Red Beakies had Line breaker. A glorious victory, huzzah!