Monday, May 17, 2010

Latrine Duty.

So, last week my ol' pick up truck took a bad roll on the ramshackle chart to the tune of several hundred dollars. In a serious funk, from a sudden unexpected expenditure followed immediately by GW's announcement that their raising prices for no other reason than they can, I was in some serious need of cheering up. Buying a new mini usually works, but that is out of the question for a while, and when I eventually can again...well, it'll cost even more than normal. However, building a tank is one of my favorite things to take my mind off of reality, and luckily i got a Hellhound kit for Christmas that was still in the box!


I've always liked the HH, though sadly it will never again be as good as the tactical nuclear weapon that its original version was back in 2nd. ed. 40k. The potential of a 2D6 explosion radius, and being able to blitzkrieg onto the table without getting blown up in my deployment zone (barring over-watch fire) was a glorious thing! The current HH comes in 3 variants. The standard which works well (I already have 2), the Devil Dog which resurrects the 2nd. ed. multi-melta rules in the form of a Melt-cannon, and finally the Banewolf.

The Banewolf with its range of just 'template', struck me as just as useless as the neutered HH of 3rd. ed. And so I ignored it, indeed I've never bothered with the devil dog either (though GW was nice enough to design the gun to be easily interchangeable without the need for magnets). Then, for whatever reason (curiosity I guess), I decided to proxy the Banewolf last winter just to see how it worked out, and fell in love with it! Not so much the weapon itself, but the idea behind it and how well it fit as a weapon of terror for Renegade Guard army.

Paint the barrels & piping BEFORE gluing it all together!

In truth, the Multi-melta is the tank's main weapon. The chem cannon rarely fires, but if it does...well, you'd best hope for death, a quick death! You don't want to survive! The Imperial Guard uses toxic chemicals whereas my renegade guard, (steel yourself) they empty the latrines (be they @ base camp or the holding tanks of their dropships) into the 'ammo' tanks and let em go! Glory to the enemy that is blessed with the honor of bathing in the glorious effluent of the followers of Nurgle! Not all of my renegades are followers of Nurgle, but that makes the whole concept sound even worse than it already does. When I first fired the chem cannon & killed half a Gray Hunter pack, I was asked what it was actually shooting and I came up with that on the fly. The SW player literally gagged & physically shuddered, and so it stuck (literally & figuratively). Only Chaos would use such vile weapons.

So as I said, pray for death!

In the event you survive, odds are your comrades will kill you anyways, your geneseed will NOT be harvested, and your remains will be burned in the hottest flames possible! Once when asked why I was firing the chem cannon at a rhino, I replied 'cause it'll never be right again...'

Can you believe I was called a 'bastard' for that?



Papa JJ said...

Haha! That's super gross and really funny, too. I'm not surprised at the effect it has on the people you play... brilliant use of psychological warfare! Sorry about the pickup truck (trukk?), at least you were able to bail out in time!

Da Masta Cheef said...

lol, well after almost 14 years that's only the second time its been on a tow truck (the last was 3 years ago), so it was overdue to have something break I guess. Still sucks though.

Heh, yeah the Bane Wolf is quite literally the stuff of horror for my opponents! No one else @ the FLGS uses them, i just hope the FLGS doesn't blame me for that!