WAAAAAAAUGH!!!!

o/

So, as you all know, this blog is named after my Ork army. However Orks make just about as rare an appearance on here as they do on the table top. Having an old speed freaks set up (with the attached objective camping Eleet Grot Mount'n Duvishun) I can't count the number of times a dozen boyz hopped out of their trukk, opened fire and then charged into a unit of Space Wolves who made their counter attack check & then eviscerated the Orks before I ever got a chance to make an attack. (that was a hellova run-on sentence!)

According to 'teh interwebz' the only way to play orks is with cookie cutter list of 20-30 man mobs, 4 battlewagons w/deff rollers, 2 meks with KFFs, and nob and/or nob biker wound allocation shenanigans. None of which I really have though i can mix/merge mobs to get a 30 ork unit or two. My battlewagon on the other hand was built (using a WWII Matilda) for the old dex and so mounts a zzap gun. Amusingly it matches the Matilda's WWII profile quite well in that its slow, heavily armored, has a crappy gun, and da boyz like to ride on top.

So, after such a crummy week last week, I figured I'd drag Da Long Wayz Dezert Groop out to the Morristown bi-weekly tourney. If they got pasted as expected, well...it would just fit it with the rest of my week. When the pairings were announced, my opponent was already predicting his doom as he assumed that I had brought my gun line renegade IG again. Despite their mediocre record & having only brought them to Morristown twice, they're apparently a quite feared army. That in and of itself is something I'm a bit proud of when again 'teh interwebz' insist that unless you have all chimelta vets & vendetta spam (in the words of the 11th company podcast from their IG overview) 'you're doing it wrong'.

Anyways: da boyz.

My opponent had SOBs and was pleased to hear that i had Orks. His roommate also plays Orks, and he knew how to deal with them. Not sure of his roommate's list preferences, but it is something similar to the above I believe as he commented on how nice it was to see an ork list that didn't fit the norm. Regardless whether it was my odd (in this day & age) speed freaks list, the fact that I had a fully painted ork army (which is something of an oxymoron), or rather the dice gods cursing his dice (which he quickly joined in with), but da boyz actually won a tournament game! Second round vs the necrons didn't go so well, though it was kind of back & forth as to whom was winning, till da boyz just folded towards the end. However as it was the same opponent with whom our game in the previous tourney got cut waaay short, so this made for a good rematch which we both enjoyed.

Below I have several photos of the first round, or to quote Rommel 'I only photograph my victories.' I had only taken one photo of the second game & it didn't come out too good. That's a shame as my opponent had a really nice WIP triarch stalker conversion made out of a ghost ark that I would've liked to have shown off on here. Oh well. So here's a bit of a recap of the Da Groop's victory:

Right & left show my initial deployment, with da eleet grot mount'n duvishun holdin' da ork totem (objective) on the hill. The center shows my turn 1 bonsai charge, except for the armorcast looted wagon which rolled a pair of 1's for 'don't press dat!' & promptly immobilizing itself.

Judging by the position of the armorcast looted wagon (da grot rigger got it mobile again), I believe this is turn 2. Damned thing rolled a 1 for 'don't press dat!' all the way into turn 3! It damned near drove off the other side of the table before the crew unstuck the gas pedal! In the background you can see Da Masta Cheef himself & his boyz have just dispatched an exorcist (green dead rhino). The preacher & 3 death cult assassins, having pureed 2 deff koptas were advancing away from the kans & looted wagon whose shooting had already cost them heavily, and way in the back Masta Blasta & his shoota boyz were stuck in with a bunch of sisters (that whole flank got bottled up after 2 deff koptas' got off a turn 1 charge that popped a rhino). None of those photos came out sadly, too much caffeine = blurry photos. That unit accounted for 10 regular sisters, as well as 10 seraphim with my mega armored mek Masta blasta being the sole survivor!

With his mob shot & flamed down around him my warboss, Da Masta Cheef was now all on his own and summarily charged by a preacher, 3 death cult assassins, and another squad of seraphim! 2 full turns later, after taking 2 wounds, and wiping out the seraphim, the preacher and assassins made a run for it! He proved just too tough of an opponent for the sister's horrid dice rolling!

The sisters' last desperate bid to get to da totem was thwarted by da kans who proceeded to play 'rock da boat' with their rhino. While failing to kill it, by this time it was turn five & the ladies within were disinclined to exit to their doom, and the game was won!