Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Imperium's dented can sale

Image found on google search & used without permission.

‘Howdy folks!

‘You lookin’ for a tank?’

‘That so? Well you came to the right place! Yes sir, best tanks the Imperium has to offer this side of the Eastern Fringe!’

‘Whatcha lookin for specifically? Fire support, main battle, APC, infantry fighting, I’ll have one of the boys look; we still might have a skimmer or two round ba—what’s that?’ ‘Infantry fighting?’

‘Infantry fighting it is!’

‘Here, now will ya jus look at this little darlin’ right here? Got her a few years back, jus’ been a waitin’ for the right owner to show up. Wouldn’t sell the ol’ gal to just anyone ya know? Some Guard tanker would have her blown to bits in a week’s time.

But you? You two look as though you were made for each other, now looky here; multi-laser, heavy bolter, searchlight & smoke, all sorts of extra hull stowage, so the locals will knows you means business! An look at that after market turret, that's sure to make some heads turn! She’s even gotta new coat of paint, gave it to her this week. Something in my head tol’ me that you were com---whoa, whoa there! Have yer boys put their guns away! I jus’ had a hankerin’ that’s all, no witches here I can assure you!’

‘Ok, ok now…where were we?

‘Oh yes you were just about to—what’s that?

Looks like a 13 year old built it?

Sir I can’t believe you’d suggest that I’d try to sell you a wha-huh? Amateurish green stuff job?

THAT sir is a reinforced weld. Nothing’ll keep the fire from some vile flithy Xenos out like that! Now you listen to me, she runs great and will do you no wrong! You sign right here on the dotted line an’ we’ll get you two all fixed up, what d’ya say?’


‘By the authority of the immortal Emperor, just what the hell d’you think this---okay, okay…I’ll let ya have her, jus’ put yer guns away! Honest, we’re all Emperor fearin’ souls here!’

‘I’ll let you slide just this once Mister Inquisitor Sir.’

So I bought a Chimera off of ebay sometime back and it was junk. 'OOP Collector's item, ready to use/display, yada yada...' Fuzzy photo, old style plow (the one with the spikes) made it the 'OOP Collector's item' I guess. Upon opening its package for inspection, the tank literally fell apart in my hands. Worst assembly job I've seen! Before or since, but what do ya expect for $10, right? I've fiddled, doctored & converted it as best as I could on and off, even replacing the turret with one from Old Crow miniatures, but its still kinda ugly. Discarding its original intended purpose, my renegade IG veterans have been riding around in it for a while now. Who else would use such a wreck?

Well, turns out my Inquisitorial forces.

I've never painted the model (beyond a few primer coats) as I realized it'll always look like a wreck. Not too inspiring. Some tanks are just beyond salvage. However my renegades don't need a Chimera, whereas my Inquisition does. They only have 2 rhinos. One, painted specifically for the Imperial Forestry Service squad, and the other in bright fucking red! However about 2/3 of my Inquisition minis are either scaly green and/or gray. Not wanting to repaint a rhino, they'll get the crummy ol' Chimera. I suppose the wear & tear on it's hull will help it blend in with local PDF forces or something. I'll probably give it a flat coat of scaly green and just pick out the details before dry brushing (when I'm not painting Orks that is).

Sorry, still no camera and thus, no photos.

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