Like lambs, lead to the slaughter...

o/

Last week, Kushial gifted me with a box o' grots. Contained therein were over a hundred of them!!! Da' Eleet Grot Mountin Duvishun has thus reached division size!

Indeed, I made up a list with them as the primary detachment with big mek SHULTZ! (he's in the 1st photo) in overall command and his aide-de-camp Deflecta (another big mek sporting a KFF), the Duvishun came out to 825 points! Fleshing it out to 1500 points, I took an allied contingent of my Beastmen IG (sadly, I've yet to come up with a decent name for them). Breaking the grots into separate mobs, I primed each in various colors to tell them apart on the tabletop. I had to proxy slugga boys as slavers as I don't have the 10 needed!

While largely responsible for the Duvishun's greatly swelled numbers, Kushial's Lions of Harlech space marine chapter were up to the task of exterminating this new threat to the wargaming world, and Saturday they tried to do just that while trying to recover the relic in the process. What follows is a photo recap of the insanity:

Da Eleet Grot Mountin Divshun's deployment.

NOOOOOOO!!!! My arm caught da' Grot Spee's totem and it snapped! Will have to pin that back on now.

The Lion's prepare to receive the turn one Grot wave attack!

The first units enter what is now known as Hive Angel's 'slaughterhouse ruins'. Virtually every unit entered these ruins, and summarily died within them.

I had to add in a unit of Ard boys after I realized I forgot the Devil Dog. All of these minis (kans included) would later die/be destroyed in and around the ruins.

SCHULTZ! heroically leading from the rear...

SCHULTZ! and Green Plutoon clear the ruins in glorious HTH combat. Only to then be shot to pieces, causing the few survivors to flee the field (SCHULTZ! among them).

Da' Beastmen get stuck in...and die.

Da' (mostly) painted plutoon goes into da breech!

These two bickering idiots provided stellar fire support and rivaled the Manticore in the number of Marines killed.

Da' Grot artillery support also performed  rather well.

Da' Ard' Boys, painted grots and one last can clear da' slaughter house ruins and seize da' relic (again)...

Only to die (like everything else) and bottom of turn 7, with Vulcan (left) and a lone Sternguard take back the relic.

Of the vast horde that deployed on the table, these ragged few are all that survived from both sides!

I ceded victory to Kushial though in hindsight, he couldn't have seized the relic as he had no troops left. No matter though, enough fun was had as to make winning irrelevant from my point of view. A few notable things that didn't get photographed during the game:

• Da' Grot Spee blew up the vindicator with it's kustom mega blasta. This is the first time it's ever killed a vehicle and paid for itself in a game. The only damage it sustained (aside from my arm snapping off its totem) was a glancing hit caused by that same kustom mega blasta.

• As my Beastman command squad and Gor (commissar) Lord charged Vulcan and the Sternguard, the squad was wiped out by overwatch fire. However the Gor challenged Vulcan and made FOUR refractor saves and then won combat by wounding Vulcan (who tore the offending Gor apart in the next round).

• Vulcan destroyed Da Bloo Kans single-handedly.

• ...and I'm sure many other glorious combat actions as well, but with close to 200 casualties over all, I simply don't recall.

Ha ha! Suckers...

...I'll bet you spent a fortune on jewelery didn't you?

lol, for those in other countries who don't know, yesterday was Valentine's day. The holiday in which we celebrate our love, devotion etc., to our significant others. However in truth, it (like most holidays in America) is really a celebration of capitalism and a MASSIVE multimedia marketing blitz that has long since destroyed whatever the actual cause for this holiday was years ago...

That media blitz insists that if we don't spend a fortune on triple-priced roses (for this one day only), and a dinner in a fancy restaurant (with rushed and mediocre service as the servers don't want to be working on this, of all holidays),  lots of chocolate samplers in the cliched heart shaped boxes, and of course diamond studded jewelry of all descriptions, we're the of scum of the earth.

Yes, we're heartless bastards whom care nothing for the women in our lives. Guys get presents too, but in truth, the average guy looks at Valentine's day thru the distorted lens of 'how much do I have to spend to get laid this time?' Yes, even you hopeless romantics out there ultimately think that as well, don't lie. Love & devotion is best expressed on the day its not all but required by law which is to say, the other 364 of them, but I digress...

Basically its all about the women and making them feel special, because (obviously) we only care about ourselves for other 364 days of the year...right.  Why is it that March 20th doesn't have the same marketing blitz and hype? I guess that if you have to pay for your steak AND the BJ, then its really not that much of a holiday now is it? But seriously, many guys have never heard of it, WTF?

 Worse yet, what if you're single? Then Valentine's Day is the most miserable fucking excuse for a fucking holiday that was ever fucking conceived. It's like the world is pointing at you and saying: 'LOSER!' With the sole exception of this year, that's always been my thoughts on Valentine's day.

So, for once I found myself in the oh so rare situation of having to buy presents for Valentine's day.

Card: check
Candy: check (and no, not the chocolate cliche)
Something Expensive: umm...

Our relationship is a bit new to be dropping a huge chunk of change on a gift. Indeed, it was liable to be more awkward than appreciated. So, I pondered: 'what do most women want on that front? Something small, expensive and gold.'

Yikes!

Luckily for me, my girl finds my mini-gaming interesting, and nothing gets that 'aww...' feeling like making a present yourself, right? Plus, while I don't know what the current price of an ounce of gold is, all of us gamers know that nothing, and I mean NOTHING rises in price faster than a Games Workshop miniature! Plus, she has for years used the online name of Blonde Wolf (or some variation thereof). So checking to see if all the parameters were covered:

Small: check
Expensive: Check
Gold: Check (well sorta)

...and so there we have it, I made her a Blonde Wolf. She loved it! Best of all, what I (or rather 'we') did afterwards was just as good, if not better (yes, yes I'll go with 'better' as the in-between-sex, 40k-related pillow talk is such a rare thing in the general sense) than those who spent a fortune after falling for the slogan of 'Every kiss begins with Kay...'

;-p

No Mayans were involved in this apocalypse!

Everyone else was though...

Last Saturday night's night of gaming descended into the madness of an impromptu 7k point Apocalypse game. No actual rules for Apoc. were used, however once you pass a certain point limit, it simply becomes an apocalypse game by default.

I fielded my Storm Wardens and also on my side of the table were RTVoril and the Cabal of the Black Primer, Hive Angel and his Headless Horsem...ermm...Blood Angels & Saint (in his battlefield debut with our group) wiv da boyz! Opposing this mindboggling alliance was the accursed enemy forces of Kushial fielding no less than 5500 points of his Lions of Harlech space marines! Supporting him was my trusty side kick, Screech and his Thousand Sons (of Bitches). Neverness showed up late, and watched with amusement and later provided us all sustenance with a little Caesar's peperoni pizza! 

Hive Angel has the most detailed report of this particular menagerie, which you'll find here, Neverness also has a photo recap here. I'm going to follow his lead with a photo dump of my own along with captions of my random thoughts on the game.

My Storm Wardens hunker down in the trenches.

Headless marines? One guess who these belong to...

Saint preparin' da boyz' for a propa krumpin' of da kaos beakies!

Left to right: Hive Angel, Rogue Trader Voril, Screech and Kushial.

The Lion's of Harlech begin their Armored advance...

Our first 'Oh shit!' moment of the night...

GOFFS!!! So rare to see Orks with checkers these days.

Ugh, they look even scarier from this angle...

My ever popular 'roadblock' maneuver, which ended rather badly for me...

Covering my ill-fated advance. 'Remember boys, the xenos are on our side.'

My combat squad of Devastators in the forward trench has already been wiped out.

There's more money on this table than I paid for my first car...

Da fighta arrives!

The Lions prepare to clear us from the center objective (and did so easily).

Dun da da DA da, Dun da da DA da...

If only there were a pilot in that cockpit. Note: Screech's expertly camouflaged Thousand Sons (of bitches) inside that building.

...and this is where the madness ended as it was rather late and time to go.

So is this list just SPAM? Fluffy? Both? You tell me...

o/

I don't normally do these sorts of posts, where I post a list and ask you, 'teh interwebz' for your collective opinions on the subject. In general, I don't care, I play what ever it is that I like and that's that.  Instead my usual format is either the: I painted this, this is week or I played these games this week or this is my new army idea that will never see the light of day and will later be quietly sold off on ebay or (the ever popular it seems) screaming nerd rage rants. Indeed, the rants do quite well according to my google stats...

However lately (and locally) we've been waging something of an ideological civil war on just why we want to play 40k. I've never made it a secret that I proudly wave the 'fluff bunny' flag, and will savagely beat the mathhammer/WAAC crowd over the head with that flag as I see as necessary (which is a frequent occurrence I might add). As such both sides of this argument are hunkered down in their respective trenches, hate  and vitriol are being fired across no-man's land, and the battle lines are not moving at all. Really all we need here is the Death Corps of Kreig.

Of course I didn't ask Permission to use this.

Anyways, onto my list idea. I finally have the new DA codex, and will field a small allied contingent of DA reserve companies to run with my Storm Wardens. However what if I were to  field an actual reserve company? First off, this is a mental exercise as really have no desire to buy & paint all of this up. That said, here goes:

Dark Angels, 6th Reserve Company, Dual Force Organization

 Army total: 2500 points

Model count: 105 Space Marines (including Rhino drivers),
3 Dreadnoughts,  3 Rhinos

Primary Detachment: 1285 Points

HQ:

Company Master w/Power Sword, Combi-Plasma, Artificer Armor
Command squad w/Apothecary, Banner of Devastation

Elite:

Dreadnought w/Twin-Lascannon, Missile Launcher

Troops:

Tactical Squad (10) w/Multi-Melta, Meltagun
Tactical Squad (10) w/Lascannon, Meltagun
Tactical Squad (10) w/Lascannon, Flamer
Tactical Squad (10) w/Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun
Tactical Squad (10) w/Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun

Secondary Detachment: 1215 Points

HQ:

Chaplain Bane w/Plasma Pistol

Elite:

Dreadnought w/Plasma Cannon
Dreadnought w/Twin-Autocannon, Missile Launcher

Troops:

Tactical Squad (5) w/Meltagun, Rhino w/Plow Storm Bolter
Tactical Squad (10) w/Missile Launcher w/Flakk, Plasma Gun
Tactical Squad (10) w/Missile Launcher w/Flakk, Plasma Gun
Tactical Squad (10) w/Heavy Bolter, Flamer, Rhino w/Stormbolter, Plow
Tactical Squad (10) w/Heavy Bolter, Flamer, Rhino w/Stormbolter, Plow

And that's 2500 points. Looks kinda spammy to me, yet is pretty-much follows the Codex Astartes to the letter. So actually its fluffy. I tried to get a good mix of heavy and special weapons just to balance things out a bit. I could give a hoot as to whether its competitive or not.

Pros:

• Aside from the yahoo holding the Banner of Devastation (which in this list it would live up to its name) there are really no priority targets. Redundancy FTW!
• 10 Scoring units, unless they're in combat squads, then there's 19!!!
• Heavy and special weapons are everywhere (especially with combat squads) making it hard for the enemy to keep the front armor facing my scattered big guns.
• Enemy deep strikers and flyers will have issues on where to go, as the table will be flooded with bodies.

Cons:

• Aside from sheer numbers, there really isn't shit to deal with hand-to-hand combat and especially Death Stars.
• Heavy and special weapons are all over the place, so maximizing your firepower is out the window as well.
• Aside from 3 Rhinos, its a slow and ponderous force.

Or for a variation (and the cinematic 'raining space marines' option) you could drop the rhinos and add 14 drop pods (7 of which would be coming in turn one if I understand the Drop Pod Assault rules correctly). That would bump it up to a 3K list, and have enough points left over to upgrade a few Sgts. to vets and pass out a few power weapons of various descriptions as well.

So there it is.

Now I leave it up to you my fine readers to offer me your opinions on this subject.  What is this:
SPAM?
Fluffy?
Both?
Or (as RTVoril will no doubt tell me) TL;DR?

Edit: In my opinion its both SPAM & Fluffy, so I guess what I'm asking is would this be any fun to play against? Especially as most SPAM players hate fluffy lists, while most fluffy players hate SPAM lists.

WHAT?!? How is that not 25% cover?!?!

Seriously, your lascannon can only see 25% percent of my Landraider, if that...

Just for the lolz!

The hilarity following that statement was the highlight of last night's game.

Digitally remasterd in FAILcast...

o/

Recently my girlfriend has shown some interest in my mini gaming, and wanted to 'geek out' with my miniatures. Not knowing to much about 40k (she's more familiar with Warhammer Fantasy Role Play) aside from what she's read on GW's website, this and Neverness' blogs, Wikipedia and Lexicanum. So, the other night I pulled out all of my minis, kinda giving her an vague and rambling overview of my collection, and especially the design aesthetics. For example putting my Beastman IG next to my Loyalist IG, which look quite different, yet are exactly the same rules wise.

Going thru everything I came to the Inquisition layer at the bottom of one case. I call it the Inquisition layer, as it contains the remnants of my once vast array of Inquisitors and their allied contingents. Most are gone due to the fact that Matt Ward's OMG THIS WILL BE SO AWESOME!!!!! writing style makes me feel like a dirty cheeseball every time I consider using them. Fucker. Anyways, the only reason i still have any of them, is because Inquisitor Coteaz allows my beloved Imperial Forestry Service guys to be a troops choice.

'Grassy Knoll' is on Coteaz' left, and 'Ranger Smith' his on his right.

This is a FAILcast model, and of the three of those that I've bought, he and my Empire Captain, were relatively free of defect. Whereas my old Emperor's Champion-turned-Arkos the Faithless was fucked up, and later sold off. 

Now, I've only purchased one White Dwarf magazine since it was updated to the new format, that one being the first 'new' one. In that issue was the CSM release, and there was page after page of 'digitally remastered in 'high quality' Finecast previews of all sorts of the old CSM sculpts. GW literally emptied a thesaurus describing how wonderful these new models were now that they're in finecast (which is consequently sooo much cheaper for them to make and sooo much more expensive for us to buy).

Are you Fucking kidding me???

So why all this rambling? Well, going back to Coteaz, I pulled him out of the case above, and due to the exceptionally heavy weight of this miniature, and the exceptionally "high quality" of the finecast resin, his fucking hammer handle warped around his body in the fucking GW case!!! Not even FW resin parts that are so thin as to be translucent before priming do this!

What. The. Fuck. GW???

Pay attention Screech, I know you were thrilled with the detail of all of those FAILcast Thousand Sons conversion kits last week. You'd best store them vertically in a deep tray, or else they'll be screwed in the long run!

Does anybody know if Testor's matte varnish with hold up while it is immersed in hot water in an attempt to bend the damned thing back?  Personally I'm of the mind to just mail GW the damned thing with a note to have whomever is in charge of the FAILcost production to put it on their desk, so as to remind them of the 'exceptional quality' that they're providing us! Then I'll just convert a 'counts as' Coteaz out of PLASTIC! Makes me wonder if they'll just convert 40k into one of those pre-painted plastic clicky shit games. Seems they're using the same high quality material as those games have.

As such (and if you're reading this GW, pay attention) I will never ever, buy ANYTHING made of this crap ever again! Even if its fine when you get it, the necessary act of storing it will still fuck it up!

In the Grim Darkness of the Fu--what? Oh crap its snowing!

o/

Having grown up (for the most part) in the northeastern USA, I 'know' what winter is supposed to be like. Thus the amount of snow needed to shut down good ol' Tennessee which is where I live now is laughable compared to those memories. No one in the south can drive in the snow when there is little more than a dusting on the roads. Ironically, having spent the first several years of my driving career in Florida, I'm if anything worse than the Tennesseans. There are never enough snow plows, etc., basically when is snows here, chaos ensues on the roadways.

So when it started snowing Saturday, we were pondering just skipping gaming all together, there was some indecision on what do to till I said: 'Fuck it, I'm bored' and the gaming was on! The roads were clear, just wet, all was well.

...and then it got dark...

...and the snow started to stick to the roads...

Which meant that when looking out the window of the old FLGS location, people were actually driving the speed limit, which is somewhat alarming. Only 2 rounds into a game vs. Murl's Deathwing, his wife called needing a ride home as the business where she worked was closing early due to the weather, and he had 4WD. I left shortly thereafter and would later praise my car's AWD when I finally got home (as we all eventually did). Whereas Screech & Neverness stuck it out, and so for a proper battle report, go and look at Neverness' recap here.

With just two rounds and a pledge to replay the game this evening (tentatively), there's not too much to report. But here goes: 1500 points, Deathwing vs. Storm Wardens with 6th co. DA allied contingent, Relic, deployed on short table edges.

Yet another Battle in the far future of...Holland?

Turn one, I killed a bunch of termies cutting one squad down to just 2 members, one of which was Belial I think. In return the DA rhino lost a hull point.

Turn two, the DW assault nonsense came barreling in and my Landraider blew up to a rending ass cannon shot giving him 1st blood, while Belial's buddy took the relic into his possession. A termie squad blew up the DA rhino & charged the tac. squad & bane whom were within (in hindsight, having just deep struck, I don't think they can do that, but no matter). They killed a mere 3 tac marines while Bane failed and those tac. marines killed 2 termies along with shouting 'we're the 6th company bitches!'

On the other flank, a Storm Wardens combat tactical combat squad charged the DW knights who had storm shields and the dopey looking Menoth Maces, losing 2 of their number for no kills, yet holding their ground.

And then the game was called. I have 'officially' recorded this fleeing the field occuring due to the DW feeling that they needed to have a strategy session to determine why they weren't wiping 5 man tac squads across the floor, rather than on account of the snow outside.

Not much occurred on the painting front even though that was on my 'snowed in' to do list yesterday. However I did start to base coat this Storm Wardens heavy bolter marine for one of their tactical squads.

He can't wait to tip over...