Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Rudderless...

o/

This blog may go dark for a bit...or maybe there will be LOTS of posts as I frenetically drive to hide from my reality. Honestly I don't know. Don't know what the future holds for both this blog and/or myself. 

My favorite of all of photos of My Beloved Wolfy.
We said this was the day her aura was showing.

Saturday we had a good a good day, a typical Saturday really. 

We slept in late, ate popeye's chicken sandwiches for 'brunch' followed by a fruit salad she had made whilst we watched the pioneer woman cooking show. Switched to BBC america's Planet Earth II reruns, napped a bit, had some 'quality time' in the bedroom. I made a stir fry that we love and watched Hail Caesar (odd movie) that she had wanted to see in the theater but we missed it, followed by Horse girl (odder still and honestly not recommended), followed by 2 episodes of Log cabin living before we turned in for the night. 

Kisses goodnight and snuggled up in bed with our daily 'Good night baby I love you. Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning'. 

That was about 2am. When I awoke in the morning she was gone. 

My Beloved Wolfy suffered from end-stage kidney failure these past 2 years (spread across 3 calendar years, but in reality about 2 years time total). We're guessing her heart just gave out. No pain, peaceful and snuggled up with me. The best way to go really. Compared to those suffering from the COVID, something I've been terrified of her catching for months now, I couldn't ask for anything more to be honest. 

For me though, Sunday morning was hell. The days following aren't much better. I'm holding together mostly. Mom is here for the week, but I've yet to make it a day without totally breaking down. I don't expect that to change for quite awhile. I'll go back to work Monday, no use sitting in an empty house. 

Hobbies are good to keep busy, to keep the mind from reality. Guess I'll soon find out how tightly I cling to mine like it's some sort of life raft...or not. Just don't know. 

My whole world. 

13 comments:

Siph_Horridus said...

I’m so sorry to hear this. I can’t quite imagine the pain of losing your life partner. Mate, don’t worry about this blog or hobbying until you are good and ready to continue (or not) we will be here to read your ramblings when you have the headspace once more. Sending the WeeMen’s best wishes at this dreadful time, I hope you can heal well whenever that it. I can’t quite imagine the shock of that morning however sound like it was a peaceful passing next to her one love, hold onto that thought at least. X

Paul Chappell said...

Damn, so sorry to hear, sir... Hobbies are of course secondary at best, but as you said perhaps a good escape.

Monkeychuka said...

I think Siph already said it better than me above. Thoughts and prayers with you at this time. Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Please accept my deepest condolences for loss. I've been following your blog for a few years now and it saddened me to read about your wife's passing. May your heart and soul eventually find comfort and peace.

Ragsta said...

I'm sorry to hear this, very sorry Cheef. I am an occasion commenter at best but all my thoughts and positive vibes go to you. My family has had a series of bad diagnoses recently but we're still holding on and that makes me feel even more for you. What's clear is you loved each other like crazy, and you made each other feel special. Take all the time you need, mate. Peyma (Ragsta)

Da Masta Cheef said...

Thank you Ragsta. And I wish you and yours all a hopeful full recovery.

Imperial Recruitment said...

I can't believe it. I am so very sorry to hear this. You and Wolfy were great together. I know I went dark sometime back, but I would still check up on everyone from time to time... if there is anything I can do to help please let me know.

Da Masta Cheef said...

I think I know who you are...maybe. Regardless thank you.

Imperial Recruitment said...

http://dlwdg.blogspot.com/2015/03/x-wing-x-wing-games-everywhere.html

4th pic down. Imperial Recruitment checking in after an extended hiatus.

Da Masta Cheef said...

Echo base this is Rouge Two, I've found him!

lol, good to hear from ya & glad to hear that you're still around! We wondered what happened to you...

Your phone #/email still the same?

Imperial Recruitment said...

Phone no, but email should be. I am trying to make it out for game night this week. I would absolutely love to see everyone again! Come on out and we'll catch up.

Da Masta Cheef said...

I'll try to (assuming they have it). I haven't been to one in well over a year or so.

Imperial Recruitment said...

Well then it's time that both of us get social again.